Conquering the Spirit of Fear
I have heard some Christians claim and even prophesy that the spirit of fear is weak and can be easily conquered. They say we do not need to be concerned about it because it can be easily overcome by merely taking control of our thoughts. Many of them will quote the scripture in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 where Paul says, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not wage battle according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”
I agree that believers in Christ should not be worried, anxious, or fearful about anything because, as it says in 1 John 4:4, “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” However, I believe that Satan wants us to believe this lie about the weakness of fear so that we will depend upon our own strength and abilities to save us, rather than looking to the love of God for our deliverance when we are attacked. As Paul said, our weapons are “divinely powerful.” Our strength comes from God, not our own effort or abilities.
I have been attacked by this spirit of fear many times in my life. As a young boy, I was bullied regularly in school, and as a young man, I faced this enemy in combat while serving this country as a Navy SEAL. I have also witnessed seasoned warriors, considered by many to possess great bravery and courage under fire, succumb to it in their final moments here on earth. This spirit of fear is a greater adversary than many give it credit, especially when it comes to the fear of death and dying, but it is not greater than the One who has already conquered fear and death, namely, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We can train ourselves to stand against this enemy by relying on our own mental and physical strength and training, but we are in no way guaranteed victory. However, in Jesus Christ, we can do all things, and our victory over fear is guaranteed in the love of Christ and through His death on the cross and resurrection from the grave.
The spirit of fear often manifests here on Earth as anger, denial, bargaining, depression, anxiety, whining, blaming, or complaining. This behavior is evidence that the enemy is attempting to drive a wedge between our loving Father and us, but we should not allow ourselves to be deceived. Instead, we can choose to place our faith, hope, and love in Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior, remembering Romans 8:35-39: “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or trouble, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? Just as it is written: “FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE KILLED ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE REGARDED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.” But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” By choosing to abide in God’s perfect love, fear will have no power over us. As it says in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”
Godly men throughout the Old Testament, like David, Moses, Elijah, and Abraham, succumbed to fear at one time or another because they were not “perfected in love.” Even Peter, a disciple of Christ, fell to the spirit of fear a few times before being filled with the Holy Spirit, but Jesus Christ, being “perfected in love,” never lost a battle against anyone or anything. We will see later that He was attacked by this spirit as all men are, but He never lost a fight to it. God picks imperfect people so He can show His strength and love, but He chose His perfect Son, Jesus, to live as an example for all of us on how to fight this enemy by dwelling in God’s perfect love. By existing in His perfect love, we can live without grumbling or complaining. It is in His perfect love that we can run our race through life without succumbing to fear.
Since the fall of man, destruction and death have been a part of our existence on Earth, and they will only increase in strength and number as we draw closer to the return of Christ. God, however, in His mercy, has been allowing us time to prepare for it. Many have chosen to let distractions keep them from preparing, but it is not too late. The spirit of fear is our enemy, and it can only be completely conquered with God's perfect love. We cannot simply attack it with words of declaration or signs and wonders if our relationship with the Lord is not first laid upon a foundation of God’s love.
Fear can only be defeated and cast out with the word of God that is perfected in love. The battle is real, and we must endure until the end by trusting in God’s divine power and love for us and by humbly offering our unconditional love to Him. Our faith and hope in the Lord are important in allowing us to fully trust Him, but love, not time, is the greatest force that brings about maturity in our relationship with Him. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:13, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.”
I have been writing a lot about God’s perfect love over the past couple of years, but its relevance is increasing as we draw closer to Christ’s return. Paul spoke about love’s importance throughout his letters to the New Testament churches, but his focus on this subject can be found in 1 Corinthians 13. Paul emphasizes in this chapter that without love, we are nothing. He does not say we cannot do anything; quite the contrary. He says that if we are using the gifts of the Holy Spirit, such as prophecy, or if we have the kind of faith that moves mountains but lack love, we are nothing. Fighting fear follows the same rule. We can fight fear simply by trusting in our own might or even in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but if we do not have our relationship with God founded on His perfect love, we will find that we ultimately have nothing, no victory, no reward.
Our faith and hope can be shaken when suffering and persecution fall upon us, but God’s perfect love is unshakeable when we surrender to Him, submit to our Father’s will, and become one spirit with Him. In other words, when we become “perfected in love.” When we have the Spirit of Christ fully dwelling in us, the enemy has nowhere to enter or attack. In His essence, God is love, and He cannot be shaken by evil. The godly men of the Bible mentioned earlier did not have the benefit of having the Spirit of Christ dwelling in them. They placed their faith and hope in God, but they did not have the type of intimate relationship with God that Jesus made available to those of us who choose to love and believe in Him today.
Old Testament believers placed more of their faith and hope in their reverence and fear of God than in a strong desire or love for Him. Their love for Him did not have the same kind of intimacy as someone today who has the Spirit of Christ dwelling within them. When they were attacked by the enemy, they had to rely on their understanding that God would come as a protector or deliverer rather than on a faith based on an internal and loving relationship with the Spirit of Christ.
There are believers today who do the same thing, especially when it comes to death and dying. I can relate because I used to be one of them. If we do not have our relationship with God founded on an intimate understanding of His love for us, we might succumb to the spirit of fear in the end when our faith is being challenged. We can have deeper faith and hope in God when we are attacked by the enemy today, if our faith and hope are grounded in His divine love and our love for Him. If we are confident in God’s love for us, we can rest assured that He now lives within us and never leaves or forsakes us.
Suffering and persecution are a part of following Jesus Christ. We should embrace it and be thankful for it. It was promised to us by Jesus and emphasized again by Paul and Peter in their letters. In Matthew 10:22 and John 15:18-21, Jesus said that we would be hated by all because of His name and persecuted because He was persecuted, but those who endure to the end will be saved. Jesus endured until the end because He knew the Father’s love for Him and His great love for the Father. In this same manner, we can endure, but we can expect to do so much more than endure because Jesus went to the Father and sent His Spirit to dwell within us.
Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:12, “Indeed, all who want to live in a godly way in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” and Peter says in 1 Peter 4:12-14, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that at the revelation of His glory you may also rejoice and be overjoyed.” Not only can we expect suffering and persecution, but we should also rejoice when they occur. When fear attacks us, we should revel in God’s love for us and in our love for Him. After all, it is through the Spirit of Christ that all things are possible, and we have His Spirit dwelling within us because of His great love for us and our love towards Him.
As we mentioned earlier, when the Spirit of Christ fully dwells in us, the enemy has no way to enter or attack effectively. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:9-10, “For we know in part and prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away with.” He was speaking about maturing in love in this chapter. When God’s perfect love comes, namely when Jesus returns to the earth, we will see Him, be like Him, and live fully in His Spirit. Until that moment, we will have struggles, but we can overcome them with the love of Christ living in us. How can we have more of His love so that we can be more effective in this fight against our enemies, like the spirit of fear?
In Deuteronomy 7:12-26, God speaks to the children of Israel about His plan for them regarding how they would overthrow their enemies and occupy their promised land. He starts off by telling them that because of their obedience to Him, He would love them and bless them. He said He would remove all their sickness and cast it onto those who hate them. He said they would not fear their enemies because they would remember how God had delivered them in the past. These promises apply to us as well.
I have written many times already about how our love for God must be evidenced by our obedience to Him, so I won’t go into that in much detail here. You can read all about it in our second book, Ministering to Our Father, but I will emphasize that God says He will deliver and bless the children of Israel because of their obedience. This should also carry some weight for us as we seek to fight our spiritual enemies today.
God goes on to tell them in Deuteronomy 7:22, “And the LORD your God will drive away these nations from you little by little; you will not be able to put an end to them quickly, otherwise the wild animals would become too numerous for you.” In the military, we understand that if we remove an enemy from an area and do not replace it with friendly forces, the resulting void will be filled by the strongest force in the area, often creating a new enemy. This is the same rule God was addressing to Israel at that time, and we can apply it to our spiritual lives as we battle spiritual forces today. Jesus said in Matthew 12:43-45 that if a person is freed from an evil spirit and remains empty, the evil spirit will return with even more evil spirits, and the person's condition will be worse than the first.
This process of removal and replacement is called maturing in the love of Christ. As we pursue His love and obey Him, we find new freedoms as He removes enemies from our lives, such as mental or physical addictions, fear, bitterness, lust, or unforgiveness. However, when we surrender to the Lord and submit to the Father’s will, we do not always find complete deliverance from every evil thing instantaneously. In His wisdom, God knows that if He immediately delivers us from every suffering or problem in our lives without replacing them with the fullness of His Spirit and love, we might find ourselves facing new enemies we had not previously encountered.
If someone were living in poverty, destitute and sick, but also in spiritual bondage from severe addictions, mental oppression, or bitterness, and God delivered them from all those things at once, what might happen to them? If they were not greatly suffering from greed before they were delivered, and suddenly they were in perfect health and wealth, might they possibly begin suffering attacks from “wild animals” like greed or pride? We might even see them begin to struggle with a religious spirit, believing that their blessings are tied to their good works or the strength of their own faith. They might begin to struggle with forgiveness because they feel self-righteous and unjustly treated by others. God might choose to allow us to stay physically sick or poor, for example, while He transforms our spirits in His perfect love, delivering us from those spiritual forces like addictions, anxiety, and depression, before delivering us from our physical ailments.
God is more concerned with our spiritual health and wealth than with our physical bodies. Illness in our spiritual body has eternal consequences, while illness in our physical body simply gets us to eternity faster. We might see this with someone who is facing death when all the prayers in the world don’t seem to heal them. God might be trying to heal and prepare their soul and spirit to meet Him, rather than healing them of their physical illness and allowing them to continue to decline in their relationship with Him here on Earth. The scripture describes this decline as growing cold in our love for Him, and this decline in our spiritual health can be directly attributed to our struggle with sin, or, more specifically, lawlessness.
Jesus said in Matthew 24:9-13, “Then they will hand you over to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name. And at that time many will fall away, and they will betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will rise up and mislead many people. And because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will become cold. But the one who endures to the end is the one who will be saved.” Jesus was speaking about the end times, and we can see this very thing happening in the world today.
Because God is good, He might allow us to physically suffer to keep us from being attacked by spiritual forces or “wild animals” like pride, hate, unforgiveness, or any other evil forces we might not have previously had to encounter. As we pursue Him, His love, and obey Him, He will deliver us from our enemies and replace those enemies with His divine and perfect love until we are fully mature in Him.
The Apostle Paul spoke about this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9. He was explaining how God allowed him to suffer from a “thorn in the flesh” to keep him from suffering with a spirit of pride. He said, “Because of the extraordinary greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” God’s grace was the gift of His love for Paul, and the “power” of love was perfected in his weakness and humility. Paul was learning what it meant to be filled with and dwell in the perfect love of God.
I have seen this process playing out in my own life over the past few years. When I first surrendered my life to Jesus and submitted my will to the Father, I experienced immediate deliverance from deep, long-held spiritual forces in my life, but I still seemed to struggle with some other things that I knew were keeping me from His perfect love. I absolutely felt His love, and I knew I wanted more of Him despite the struggles and sufferings in my flesh. I often went to the Lord with my concerns as Paul did, and I clearly heard Him tell me, “Hold onto me, and pursue my love. All your needs will be met in our Father’s perfect time.” As I pursued His love, those other things began to fall away from me, and I felt an even more perfect love replacing them. The more I pursued His love, the more He met my need for Him.
One of those struggles was my ability to forgive others. Some of my unforgiveness was deeply rooted within me and not visible to the naked eye. I sought the Lord to expose in me anything that was harmful to my relationship with Him, and because of His love and mercy for me, He did just that. He put people into my life who might sharpen my spirit by challenging my understanding of God’s love. It brought about a humility and brokenness in my spirit that only God could resolve. The victory over these forces did not come by my own might or strength, nor by my pursuit of man’s knowledge or understanding, but by His Spirit and love. God was perfecting His powerful love in me through my weakness and humility.
James 4:4-10 says, “You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility towards God? Therefore, whoever wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says to no purpose, “He jealously desires the Spirit whom He has made to dwell in us?” But He gives a greater grace. Therefore, it says, “GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” Submit therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and He will come close to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable, and mourn, and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy into gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” Brokenness and humility must precede our coming to the Lord. God resists the prideful heart but draws near to the humble. This word applies to everyone, saved or unsaved.
When we fight against the humility that God so strongly desires for us, He will allow us to struggle and suffer, even unto death, so that we can be freed from the enemies of fear, pride, and unforgiveness before entering our eternal dwelling with Him in the Kingdom of Heaven. When we love the world more than we love Him, He withholds His grace from us. As we mentioned already, this grace is the fullness or perfection of His love. God loves us whether we choose Him or not, but the scripture is clear that there are those who belong to Him and those who do not. Those who come to Him in humility while pursuing His love will be freed of every unrighteous and evil spirit and will fully become one spirit with Him. When we are dwelling in this perfect love, the devil will flee from us, but not until then.
A few months ago, the Lord gave me the opportunity to experience His perfect love as my path crossed with another brother in Christ who has recently entered his eternal dwelling place with the Lord. This brother’s name is Andy Chavez, and to be totally transparent, I knew about Andy, but I never truly knew him. I asked him if I might share this testimony of God’s grace and love with others, and he and his wife, Beth, agreed.
I would have classified Andy as an acquaintance, even though I should have seen him more as a brother. As Jesus said in Matthew 12:50, “For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother, and sister, and mother.” As a follower of Christ, I should have been more aware of this truth going into this encounter, but I did not fully understand His perfect love for the two of us, which relegated my relationship with Andy to a friend at best.
Andy was a member of the church I attended, and to summarize quickly for you, he was a believer in Christ who loved the Lord and had been serving Him for many years. Andy had many health problems and even had a kidney transplant in recent years. One thing led to another, and eventually Andy found himself in the hospital again with a body that was severely failing him.
The Lord instructed me to go visit him in the hospital, and to my shame at the time, my response was, “But I don’t really know him, Lord. Wouldn’t it be better for someone who knows him better to be the one who visits and prays for him?” I am so thankful the Lord is more gracious and merciful than I am because He quickly put my spirit in check when He said, “Beau, he is your brother. Go to him as you would Me.” I listened to His correction and quickly went to see Andy.
When I walked into his hospital room, I experienced the Spirit of the Lord in a way that I had never experienced before. I felt a love for this man in my heart that can only be explained as having been divinely placed there by God. The compassion I felt for him and the desire I had to see him healed were overwhelming. This was not of my own doing, but of the Spirit of God living in me and of His love for Andy. I told him about how I was feeling towards him, and to my surprise, Andy said he felt the same way about me. He said he had never felt this way about another man before and could not account for the feeling, other than that it must be from God. We had each served in the military during the first Gulf War and knew of the special bond of brotherhood felt among combat veterans, but this was not that. We were also both married and loved our wives deeply, understanding what an intimate relationship can be like with another soul, but this was not that either. This was something deeper. It was spiritual.
Over the next couple of months, the Lord had me visiting him regularly to “have” church with him. He shared with me how desperately he missed the fellowship of his brothers and sisters in Christ, not being able to attend our Sunday services while being confined to the hospital. I remember the smile that spread across his face when I told him, “Andy, you and I are the Church. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 18:20, ‘For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.’ There are two of us here, Andy, and Jesus makes three.” This sparked a fire in his spirit, and with a shimmer in his eyes, he said, “Amen, brother!” Andy said that a lot. He loved to agree with anyone who carried the Spirit of Truth, and He was never ashamed to admit it.
We shared the word of God in our small “church services,” listening for anything the Holy Spirit might want to say to us or through us. We prayed, worshipped, cried, and laughed together. We shared war stories and spoke of our travels and other experiences as brothers would, but we began to form a deeper bond, founded in our love for God and His love for us. It was amazing! I have had military brothers-in-arms who were closer to me than my own blood relatives, but they were never as close to me as Andy was over those couple of months. I wanted to see him physically healed, but I wanted his spirit and soul to be fully abiding in our Father’s perfect love even more. I knew this was what God wanted as well, and that I was feeling His heart of love for Andy.
Andy’s physical condition continued to decline despite all the prayers and support from those who loved him, both in and outside of the Church. The Lord had me seeing him even more frequently now, and I knew there was a reason for it. I held onto the hope that he would be physically healed and would walk out of that hospital, but I knew the Lord might have a different plan for him involving a different type of healing. Every trip I made to see him brought healing and strength to his spirit and soul, and we both rejoiced in what God was doing in both of us. You see, I was also being healed and changed at the same time as Andy. Andy was experiencing the work of our Father’s perfect love in both of us, but so was I. It was a reciprocal love. As I showed God’s love to Andy, I received more of His perfect love in me. God was filling both of us to a fullness of His love that neither of us had ever experienced before.
At a certain point, Andy had physically decompensated so severely that he had to be moved to the intensive care unit, or ICU. Eventually, the ICU was not enough to keep him stable, and his doctors and healthcare managers thought it best to consider placing him in hospice care. My wife, Elisa, and I have both worked in healthcare for many years, and we agreed to meet with Andy’s wife, Beth, and the hospital staff to discuss their options for Andy’s future. We thought we might be able to help Andy and Beth with the difficult decisions regarding their current situation. When we arrived at the hospital, we went into Andy’s room to spend some time in prayer and worship with him before having our meetings with the hospital staff. He was awake and still able to communicate at this point, but it was evident that his physical health was declining rapidly.
When Beth arrived, we went into another room to speak with the hospital staff about their hospice options. Anyone who has ever gone through something like this would be aware of the stress and anxiety that planning something like this might bring. Beth was understandably struggling with the thought of having to let go of her husband of twenty-four years, but I was grateful that the Lord was giving her His grace and peace as we prayed silently over her throughout the meeting. It appeared she might be coming to her own conclusions, but she did not want to make this choice for Andy. She wanted him to be a part of the decision. This conversation is not an easy one to have with someone who is sick, even when the one having it is a doctor or nurse, so it was a lot to ask of Beth, and she felt the weight of it. I continued to pray in my spirit that God’s love would continue to be manifested in both of their lives, making His way clear to them both, and He did that by making their difficult decision for them.
Over the past couple of months, I was able to share with Andy and Beth about our Father’s perfect love for us. I was not only sharing the words but also being a vessel for God to love them through. As Jesus once said of Himself in John 14:10, “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own, but the Father, as He remains in Me, does His works.” He also said in John 5:19, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in the same way.” Do you see? It wasn’t me loving Andy and Beth so much as it was God loving them through me. The loving and encouraging words I spoke were not my own, but our Father was speaking to them through me. The more I recognized this and submitted to Him, the more He used me and graced us all with His love.
As we arrived back in Andy’s room, it was suddenly apparent that Andy was not going to be with us for much longer. His attending doctor and nurse were in the room, and they made it quite clear that Andy might not see another sunrise. As healthcare providers, we always try to be hopeful and encouraging because negative words rarely bring about healing, but truthfulness and transparency are also very important. I asked the doctor directly whether Andy would live until tomorrow, and he said he was not sure. Since he was not in hospice yet, the hospital would not allow anyone to stay past the visiting hours, but his doctor told us he would make an exception in our case.
We could not know for sure whether Andy would pull through the night, and Beth desperately needed rest before facing what came next, so I offered to stay with Andy until morning. As the Lord would have it, He had me sleep in that morning, allowing me to be fully rested for this very moment. I told her I would call if anything changed, and her sons, who had arrived in the room, offered to take her home and stay with her. After spending a few more hours with Andy and telling him how much they loved him, they left me alone with my brother, who was now barely able to speak. He was focused mostly on his breathing as he fought to stay awake and as he fought to stay alive.
For the next few hours, we worshipped the Lord together, playing some of his favorite worship songs that we had both grown to love over the last couple of months. Andy could not speak more than a word or two at a time, but I saw his lips moving and tears coming to his eyes as the Lord moved upon our hearts. I began to read to him at random from the Book of Psalms, and, amazingly, a common theme or message began to emerge throughout every chapter the Holy Spirit guided us to read. It spoke of God’s goodness, forgiveness, and victory over fear for those who choose to abide in His love. Andy was a very determined individual, and I could tell he was struggling with letting go. I would not absolutely say it was a spirit of fear driving him to fight so hard, but I could not rule it out either, given the atmosphere in the room. I knew that he loved his family and was concerned about leaving his wife alone, but the Lord chose to speak to those concerns directly.
All night, God was letting Andy know how much He loved him and his family. He stroked Andy’s hair and cheek as if he were a small child and helped the nursing staff take care of him, even bathing him and giving him water to drink. It reminded me to some extent of what it must have been like for Jesus when He died. Jesus was also thirsty and had asked for a drink, but He had no one there to serve Him except a Roman soldier who offered Jesus sour wine. When Andy was being bathed, it reminded me how the women bathed the body of Jesus and prepared Him for burial after He had died, and how they must have cared for His body so gently and caringly. I knew the Lord wanted Andy to feel His physical love for him while he was still alive, with the gentleness and kindness that Jesus Himself did not experience while dying on the cross.
I keep saying that God was showing Andy love in this way because He was doing it through me. I have never experienced this type of affection and compassion for another human as I was experiencing with Andy, other than perhaps my own wife or children. It had to be the Spirit of Christ in me. There was no other explanation. I am not saying that I have never felt compassion either. I have been a pediatric emergency room nurse for over ten years, and you cannot do that job effectively without a heart of compassion, but this was greater than anything I have ever experienced. I felt the Lord’s presence as if He were physically standing in our midst.
Andy had been nonverbal for quite some time at this point. I heard the Holy Spirit ask me to tell Andy that Jesus was in the room with us, not only because His Spirit was living inside both of us, but that Jesus was somehow physically in the room. I could not see anyone in the room except Andy and me, so this was stretching my faith. I couldn’t shake this feeling, however, that I was supposed to say these words to Andy. This was about two hours before Andy passed, and he had been staring at the ceiling for quite some time. I knew he was looking for the Lord, or at least, His angels. When I told him that Jesus was physically in the room with us, Andy quickly turned his face towards me, looked me straight in the eyes, and fervently said, “Amen, brother!” He said it as if he already had seen Him with his own eyes. Those were the last words he ever said to me.
The last couple of hours we spent in prayer and reading the Book of Psalms. I continued to emphasize how much God loved him, and I began telling him that if Jesus called him to come home, he should not fight it. I told him to run to Jesus and tell Him how much he loved Him, throwing himself into His arms. The Lord wanted Andy to know that it would no longer matter what he had accomplished on this earth, whether good or bad, because his time was now short, and he would soon be wholly trusting and relying on the Lord’s love for him and his love for the Lord. We spoke about how we are saved by God’s grace and the blood of His Son, Jesus, and how the Lord is waiting for those who belong to Him to join Him with the Father and Holy Spirit in a kingdom where there is no longer any pain or suffering.
Andy could not verbally communicate, but he could still respond by nodding or shaking his head. When I asked him if he agreed, he nodded his head with tears filling his eyes. He agreed that it was because of Christ’s resurrection that we could also be resurrected into a new life, one that would allow us to be with Him eternally. I shared with Andy how we still have time here on earth to forgive others so that our Father in heaven will forgive us, as Jesus told His disciples.
Because Andy could only nod or shake his head, I am not sure whether he needed to personally hear any of what was being said or if he was already prepared to see the Lord, but I spoke whatever I heard the Lord telling me and tried not to add or take anything from it. What I heard the Lord tell him might very well have been meant for whoever reads these words rather than only for Andy. Andy had already agreed to let me tell his story, so perhaps God was using this to tell others about His love for them as well. I am not sure, but I do know that Andy’s countenance and the atmosphere in that room changed dramatically as the Lord shared His love with both of us.
About an hour before Andy passed, I heard the Lord say something to Andy through me, but it was also a word for me to follow. I heard Him tell me that He wanted me to let Andy know that he could let go now because I would be here for his wife, Beth. I knew this was not a little thing to say, and I wanted to be sure that I was hearing from the Lord clearly, so I stopped and asked Him. I heard the Lord tell me, “I want you to tell Andy that he can let go now because he is ready, and I AM here for his wife, Beth. I want you, Beau, to be there for her so that the Father and I can be there for her through you.” I understood.
The Lord has been teaching me to be more like Him in this way. As Jesus was on the earth for His Father to do His work in Him, so He wanted me to be here on the earth. I should live as Jesus lived so that I might also say, “Nothing that I do or say is my own, but the Father doing His work in me.” I receive no glory or credit for anything, whether perceived to be good or bad, because when I am abiding in His perfect love and according to His perfect will, He is doing everything in me.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.” When we allow Jesus to carry the load and the Father to do His work in us, we are not responsible for the outcome, good or bad. He is the One pulling the yoke. We are simply walking alongside Him. When we try to pull the weight on our own or even worse, against His plans or will, we become weary because our strength is not enough.
When people say that it is only through the grace of God that we can be saved, they are correct, but if we are truly yoked up with the Lord, we will see evidence of straight furrows behind us. Those ditches were not dug by our strength, but they were dug perfectly by the One to whom we are yoked. When I went to spend time with Andy, the work and effort were not my own. It was the Father's work of love in me through the Spirit of Christ dwelling in me. I was simply yoked with Him in His effort.
About fifteen minutes before Andy went to be with the Lord, he turned his face towards me and stared deeply into my eyes. It was as if he was no longer looking at me, but at the Spirit of Christ living in me. Our spirits had become unified together with the Spirit of Christ, transcending this physical realm and entering the spiritual world that surrounds us. It is difficult to describe in words, but Andy had begun to leave his body, of that much I was certain. I could tell that he had entered a place of absolute peace, and physically, his body and spirit were beginning to separate.
It was almost 4 a.m., so I called and woke up Beth to let her know that Andy would not be with us here much longer. She spoke to him one last time, and I could see in his eyes that he heard every word she said. He never took his eyes off me in those fifteen minutes until he took his final breath. When he breathed his last, he turned his gaze back towards heaven, and a look of awe and amazement came across his face. That is how Andy left this earth. He was immersed in the love of God and witnessing a glory that only he can now describe.
The doctor came into the room and called the time of death at 3:55, but when I looked at my watch, it said 3:57. I did not think much of it at the time and shared this information with Andy’s family. A couple of hours later, his son, Chris, told me something remarkable. He had looked throughout the Bible and only found one place with a chapter 3 and a verse 57. It is in the Book of Lamentations, written by the prophet Jeremiah, who was known as the “weeping prophet.” When I went to read it, I was stunned by what it said, and not only what 3:57 said, but what 3:55 to 3:57 said.
This passage of scripture accurately describes the time I spent with Andy and what we had discussed. It says, “I called on Your name, LORD, Out of the lowest pit. You have heard my voice. Do not cover Your ear from my plea for relief, from my cry for help. You came near on the day I called to You; You said, “Do not fear!” This confirmed to me that our prayers had been answered. This was evidenced by the change in the room's atmosphere. There was no fear, only God’s perfect love.
Beth later told me something quite amazing about her own experience with these events! When Andy first became sick so many years ago, Beth shared her concerns with the Lord and asked Him what this would mean for their future. She said that the Lord told her not to worry because He would take care of her by sending me to them. I had no idea about any of this when I told those words to Andy, but God did. I was not even following the Lord when He spoke those words to Beth; in fact, I was at the darkest point of my life, far from loving Him. Beth only knew me from social media, and I did not know either of them very well, if at all. I did not know about Andy’s health or that they were married at that time either. Beth did not understand what the Lord meant or had planned and decided to just leave it with Him.
I believe God told her this encouraging word years ago to confirm the one I am sharing with you right now. It was God’s love that saved me, and it was God’s love that prepared Andy to go home. It was His love that enabled Beth to endure this moment with divine peace and understanding. It is God’s love that enables us to stand against our spiritual enemies, such as fear and unforgiveness, and it is His love that makes a way for us to be with Him for eternity. There is no greater power than His love, and there is no greater way for us to show His love to the world than to allow our Father to do His work in us while we walk with Him, yoked with Jesus.
About a week after Andy went to be with the Lord, the Lord showed me something in the scripture that would once again confirm to me that He had planned my time with Andy. As we discussed earlier, the Apostle Peter was attacked by and succumbed to the spirit of fear a few times before he was filled with the Holy Spirit. One of the most significant times was when he denied the Lord. Jesus had told His disciples that they were all going to be tempted by Satan, causing them to abandon the Lord. He told Peter specifically, beforehand, that he would deny the Lord three times. He said that He had prayed for them so that they would not fail.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus came to His disciples three times and found them sleeping. He woke them up and told them to pray so that they would not succumb to temptation. What temptation was He warning them about? He had instructed them to pray while standing with Him, so that they might all withstand the temptation of fear. It was the spirit of fear that led them to abandon Jesus, and the same spirit led Peter to deny the Lord. Jesus knew that He would be tempted by this same spirit as all men are when death approaches, and He wanted His disciples to stand with Him against this enemy as well.
I knew that the Lord was asking me to stand with Andy in prayer against the spirit of fear in his final moments on the earth. He had me prepared to stay awake and be vigilant with Andy, so when the spirit of fear came, the Lord’s perfect love would cast it out. The Lord Himself stood in that room with us so that the three of us might stand together, just as Jesus had hoped and prayed for his disciples in the garden. I believe the scripture in Lamentations 3:55-57 bears evidence to this, as does the change I saw in Andy’s countenance and the atmosphere in the room.
I wanted to know if this was a one-time occurrence or if the Lord was asking me to live this way every day of my life. I knew the answer before I even asked. I began walking more deeply in this divine love as the days progressed, and one day the Lord wanted to share with me how to love those who are not my brothers and sisters and do not yet belong to Him. He wanted to show me how I could let Him love those people through me rather than through my own efforts. As Jesus said in Luke 6:32, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” It should not be difficult to love our brothers and sisters in Christ, but what about loving a stranger?
I had gone for a run a few weeks ago, and as I was running down the road, I heard an 18-wheeler honk its horn as it passed me. It did not startle me, but it slightly irritated me that he would honk at me. This feeling quickly passed as I focused on the Lord’s love for me. I kept running, praying, and praising the Lord. When I turned around and started running back home, I looked up and saw a man sitting on the side of the road with a flat tire. It looked like he had taken a wheel off his jeep. He was sitting on the side of the freeway, and I felt like the Lord told me to stop and talk to him. The Lord impressed upon me the story of the Good Samaritan.
The man was sitting in the same spot where the truck had honked at me earlier, as if the Lord was trying to alert me to look up and see him. Initially, I was listening more with my flesh than with my spirit, so I missed the opportunity to listen to and obey the Lord's voice. This time, I heard the Lord, but instead of immediately obeying Him, I questioned Him. I told the Lord, “You know that I do not have any money.” I had nothing with me to help him, so I kept running. I said, “Lord, if this is you, keep burning this in my heart. Don't let me forget this. Let me keep feeling this, and I'll go back.”
I ran a little longer, but I could not shake the feeling that I was meant to go talk to him, so I turned around and ran back. As I was running back, the Lord impressed upon me what Peter had said to the beggar at the gate when he asked Peter for money. Peter told him in Acts 3:6, “I do not have silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, walk!” I thought, “I have no money with me, but I have God’s love.” When I came up to him, I asked him, “Do you need help with anything?” He said, “No, I have someone coming here. I'm fine.” I asked him if I could pray for him, and he said yes.
I prayed and asked God to protect him while he sat on the side of the freeway, to station His angels around him, ensuring his safety until he could go home, and for Jesus to manifest His power and love for him while He watched over him. The man said, “Thank you,” as I turned around and walked away. As I was running home, I realized that everything I had recently gone through with Andy, that same feeling of divine love that I had received for Andy, I was now feeling for this man, whom I didn’t even know, on the side of some road. It was the love of the Lord for him.
I don't know what I was supposed to do for him, exactly. I could only do or say what I saw and heard the Father doing. Perhaps the Lord only wanted me to let Him plant a seed of love in that man through prayer, or maybe I was supposed to stand with him in prayer against the enemy of fear that was attacking him. The Good Samaritan didn’t tell the beaten man that he was a Samaritan. He only loved him and showed compassion for him. It's not like I needed to go there and tell him, “Oh, I'm a Christian, I'm here to help you.” I just needed to go show him love. If God were simply asking me to allow Him to speak words of protection and love over this man, my love and obedience to the Lord would be fulfilled. If there was any power in my words, it came from God’s perfect love for this man.
A couple of weeks later, the Lord wanted to take me even deeper into this newfound measure of His love. He had shown me that His work of love in me was meant not only for my brothers and sisters in Christ but also for any stranger He brought my way. Now He wanted to show me how He wanted to love all His creation through me. One day, as I was out on a run again, the Lord had me come across a small baby bird in the road. He was trying to jump up a curb to get back on the grass, but he was too small to make the leap. His parents were flying frantically around, trying to protect him, but they could not help the baby bird reach safety. I was focused on running at a certain pace when I heard the Lord in my spirit ask me to pick up the bird and put him on the grass. I know this might sound like a strange thing to hear from the Lord, but it is what it is.
I also thought it was a bit odd, but mostly, I did not want to interrupt my plans. I told the Lord that I would get him on the way back when I suddenly heard the Lord say, “Really, Beau, again?” It stopped me dead in my tracks. The experience of the stranger on the road came rushing back into my mind. I was very glad that I had only gone a short distance past the bird and quickly turned around. After putting the baby bird on the grass and continuing with my run, I talked to the Lord about it. He told me that He loves all His creation and He wanted to use me to express that love for them. I told Him that I couldn’t find the nest and hoped that the bird would be alright, and He told me, “I’ve got it from here.” It was then that He tied together the events with Andy, the stranger, and the little baby bird.
The Lord wanted to work His love in me so that He could physically interact and love them. He wanted to use me for a specific moment in time, not a second more and not a second less. When He was finished with me, He had me move on to another assignment. All He wanted me to do was love Him and obey so that He could love His creation. He gave me His divine love for them, even the bird. My heart went out to that little creature of God. I cannot explain it any more than I can explain my time with Andy or the stranger on the road. It was something God wanted to do in me for them. Did I benefit from it as well? Yes, of course, but that was not the motivation behind saying, “Yes” to God. The motivation came from my love for Him, which He amply rewarded by allowing me to grow, mature, and be perfected in His love.
As if this were not enough, the Lord had one more lesson to teach me, at least at the time of this writing. I am certain there are many more things to learn about God’s perfect love, and I eagerly look forward to each one of them. This time, however, He wanted to show me how this perfect love was available even for my enemies. Remember, it is not a love that comes from me, but from my Father who is in heaven. It is a perfect and divine love that He works in those who love and obey Him. Jesus spoke about this “perfect” love in the Book of Matthew.
In Matthew 5:43-48, Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may prove yourselves to be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors, do they not do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Even the Gentiles, do they not do the same? Therefore, you shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
The Lord wanted to show me how I could live in this perfect love, even toward my enemies. Recently, someone contacted me unsolicited to cause division between me and someone whom God has placed in my life. Because this person was acting as an enemy of God, they could also be considered my enemy. My flesh wanted to react to this attack in an unloving way, but by now, I understood that God was allowing this to teach me something about His character.
I asked the Father to show me how He would respond to this situation, and He clearly gave me the words to say in a way representing His love towards this individual. He gave me His heart for this enemy, and I felt an overwhelming compassion for them. I prayed for them that God might release them from their captivity and heal their soul. The words that came out of my mouth had to be from the Father because my flesh was thinking something much different.
They did not respond receptively, but they also stopped attacking me. I believe this encounter proved to them that I was a son of my Father in heaven, and it silenced the spirit of fear and anger. God was loving them through me with His perfect love. Hopefully, by now, we can understand that being perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect simply means allowing our Father to do His perfect work in us, not by our own strength or wisdom, but by His loving Spirit.
The spirit of fear attacks everyone, both the righteous and unrighteous, but those who belong to God have a way of defeating it that others do not. God can use us to be His hands and feet in the earth as the Body of Christ, to show His perfect and divine love to those suffering from fear’s attack. The love of God in us can defeat the enemy of fear when it attacks our brothers and sisters in Christ, as He did with Andy and me. He can cast it away from strangers as He did with the story of the Good Samaritan, or the stranger for me on the side of the road. He wants to use us to even fight this evil spirit that attacks all His creation, as He did for the family of birds I came across while running, and He will even manifest His love in us towards our enemies to bring them freedom from it, possibly bringing them to a place where they might know of His love for them.
Our Father is seeking those who will respond to Him, saying, “Father, I will allow You to do Your work in me, now, when You ask.” He does not want us to consider ourselves as vessels too full of worldly or even godly things to listen and obey His calling. He wants a son or daughter who is willing to lay aside their own life, plans, and strength so that He can perform His work of love in us. He will set our schedule and align us with His will when we are willing to lay down EVERYTHING at His feet. In this way, we can be perfected in His love, and by His strength and Holy Spirit, we will love God with our whole hearts, minds, souls, and strength, and love others, including His creation, as Jesus loves us. We are empty vessels for Him to fill with His perfect love.
The scripture says that Jesus is the glory of the Father; we should be, as well. Our love and obedience to the Father allow God to dwell in us, and the more we walk in His perfect love, the more we become one with His Spirit. We will not be fully one with Him until His love is perfected in us, and our journey into that perfection depends on our willingness to humbly prepare for His coming or for our return to Him.
My hope and prayer is for every believer in Christ to be able to say upon their death, without any fear as Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.” Dwell in His perfect love, and there will be no fear.
